Democracy at its (un)finest.

11 05 2014

Winston Churchill once said that democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others that have been tried. On Friday night it was well demonstrated, as the lowest common denominator won out on our games vote. No more different types of poker games, only Texas Hold’em (yawwwwwwwn). How’s this for an analogy: A radio station manager ponders what kind of music his station is gonna play. Classic Rock? Nu Metal? “Too noisy” yell out a few people. Country? Christian? “Hate it” yell a few others. Dance? Electronica? “We’ll pass” yell a few others. This goes on for awhile and finally, in exasperation, the station manager says “fine, we’ll play soft rock as that will offend the least number of people”. Can you imagine if we lived in a world where everything was ruled by the lowest common denominator? I think I’d rather be dead. In my opinion, I think our group suffers from a lack of imagination, adventure and creativity. You know who you are.

On a different note it was nice to see Dave back and contributing money to our cause again. What would we do without guys like our beloved Dave to keep the rest of us positive in our poker stats. Thank you Kenny, for using your magic diplomatic skills in bringing him back. I was reading some of the old blogs and comments and I came across this old gem from Ronnie which I’d like to repost again. It went like this: “Emotion does run high at times but wtf ; we are not robots nor do we have pointy ears and God, what do you expect when you mix up Portuguese, Italians, Asian, Irish and Scots in a room with money at stake. Some might say a battle royale or cage match. I say all things considered we keep it pretty low key.” We all miss you buddy, RIP my old friend.

The game will be at my humble abode next week, and remember that I can only seat 10 max. so let me know if anyone else besides Murray wants to skip a game. No change in leaders as Paul and I are still ahead. PS. Ken, please have that trophy fixed by the next time we play at your place.

Stats: POKER 2014

Pic of the week: 4aca0764c684a

Eel out.

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Insert Blog Title Here

5 05 2014

Aaaaiiiight bitches, we have a new points leader…, yeah, me! It’s been awhile since I’ve lead anything, and with Lum and Mauro winning last year we see that anything is in fact possible. Funny game isn’t it? One month ago I couldn’t buy a fucking break. In 3 weeks I’d lost $300, and now, in the last 4 weeks I’ve won $450. Thank you Poker Gods for listening to my incessant whining.

And Ian, wtf? All work and no play makes Ian a goof! Put the pants back on dude.  Re last week’s post, do you guys even care? Or should we just play boring ol’ Hold’em ALL THE FRIKKIN’ TIME from now on. C’mon guys, give a shit and give me your opinions. What else….., oh yeah, game is at Kenny’s.

Stats: POKER 2014

Pic of the week: poker-babe-211686aEEL Out!

 





Blog resurrected? (Dealer’s Choice Games)

27 04 2014

Alright! I have found a kindred spirit in Eric, and whether he likes it or not, he shall henceforth be my new blog partner. No way to get out of this one, buddy. You’ve demonstrated a writing prowess that betrays your skill with wit and words. You’re in!

Onto the topic at hand: Donkey games.

My two cents worth: I enjoy dealer’s choice games, as long as they are poker-based and as long as they don’t involve wild cards. That’s how I feel, but as is natural, others have differing opinions. My feeling is that if we had laid out some ground rules early on, we wouldn’t be having the problems we are having now. It’s all our faults for being short-sighted. Dealer’s choice is after all dealer’s choice. If the dealer wants to play Monkey Ass-Wipe Congo Holdem with red Queens and black Kings wild, that’s his choice, but that’s where we needed to draw a line.  Some people say “fuck it, I’ll play anything” (Jack, Mauro, me, Bob, etc.), while others won’t play anything other than Texas Holdem (Kenny). The others fall somewhere in between.

Last week I violated my own rule when I dealt an Omaha hand (not having declared the week before that this was going to be a Dealer’s Choice game). In my own defense, I will declare that the only reason I did that was because I knew that Ken was coming and so I wanted to squeeze in a coupla donkey games before he arrived. But Paul was upset ( and quite rightly so), because he was forced to pay the big blind on a game that he hadn’t expected to play that night. This is why we need to set a set of rules that we will all follow, but first, we need a vote. Where do you stand?

A – Don’t care what we play, as long as we play.

B – Any Poker-based games with wild cards.

C – Any Poker-based games without wild cards

D – Only Holdem-based games (Pineapple, Omaha, Turn Two, etc) without wild cards.

E – Only Texas Holdem (aka, nothing kinky for these boys).

I vote C and/or D. Based on how the rest of you vote, we can come to a consensus that will make everyone happy (hopefully).

Oh, and one more thing…

eyecontact‘Nuff said. Eel out!

From Mauro:

image003

 





Bonehead Moves

2 05 2011

For those of you who weren’t at the game this past Friday, an incident occurred that was rather unfortunate for one of our guys. We were playing Dave’s favourite version of Hold’em called Pineapple, where Jack and Liviu found themselves involved in an all-in situation. After the all-in was declared and called, the river card was revealled and Liviu had the better hand. But hold on a second, it seems that Liviu was still holding on to his 3rd card and had forgotten to discard it after the flop. Now, in the face of it, Liviu was holding 2 Kings and a ten, so it was pretty obvious which card he had forgotten to throw out. But Jack cried foul and raked the chips in. Mauro cried foul for the above stated reason. The rest of the guys were stunned and in confusion, including Liviu who was too shy to say anything because he’s still new to the group. I know what a stalwart for rules Jack is and I knew that this situation could have escalated to galaxian proportions, so I had to step in and make a decision.

Now, I hate having to make decisions like this because I risk hurting someone’s feelings, but in the end, the only recourse you have is to play by the rules. This is especially true when you\re playing for money. In the end, I had to rule against Liviu because even though his intentions were obvious, he was the one who had made… THE BONEHEAD MOVE (echo echo).

But Liviu is not alone in this category, as I, myself have pulled off 2 major bonehead moves in our poker games, the most recent one being the last hand played in 2010. As you may recall, Alex had put me all-in after the turn with 2 pair and I, thinking he was bluffing, called him with pocket 8’s. Alex turned his cards over and I, in a fit of rage threw my cards onto the table and they unintentionally flipped over and were automatically mucked. As you may remember, the river was an 8. That hand caused me so much grief that I almost quit this game altogether. Understand that I had been getting ass raped by Alex all year and this was the cherry on the cake. Oh there have been others too. I seem to remember something with Ken and a full house a couple of years ago, but the details are fuzzy. So don’t feel bad Liviu, chalk it down as a learning experience and move on, which I’m sure you have.

But it got me thinking, so here is a top ten list, in no particular order, of some of the biggest bonehead moves in history:

10)  Napoleon Bonaparte invades Russia (June 1812)

9) Custer’s refusal to use the Gattling Gun during his ‘Last Stand’ (June 1876)

8) Mexican Gen. Santa Anna spends precious days invading the Alamo thereby giving the Texan army time to regroup. Result: The Republic of Texas is born. (February 1836)

7) Winston Churchill gives orders to Invade Gallipoli (April 1915).

6) Adolf Hitler invades the Soviet Union (September 1941), I guess Hitler didn’t read up on his history as per #10 above.

5) America’s involvement in Vietnam (early 60’s)

4) The Soviets invade Afghanistan (December 1979)

3) Captain Joseph Hazelwood decides to have a few drinks before piloting the Valdez out of Alaskan waters.

2) Some crazy Japanese guy who decides to build nuclear reactors in an earthquake zone.

1) Mr. and Mrs. Hitler and Mr. and Mrs. Djugashvili (Stalin) decide to have kids.

So there ya go boys and girls, it kinda makes our mistakes seem rather small don’t it?

So as far as next Friday is concerned, some of the guys will be playing at the charity poker tournament, but I, having made a sizeable donation to the Japanese earthquake relief already, shall skip the tourney and hold a game at my mom’s instead. We will definitely not have a shortfall of players as lately everyone and their dog wants to play poker with us.

I guess that’s all for now, so for whoever I won’t be seeing next week, good luck at the tourney, as for the rest of you, bring lots of cash, heh heh heh heh heh heh.

SpiC out

Sireel’s Stats: POKER 2011





What is Luck, Anyway?

9 04 2011

As all of you well know, the words luck, or lucky, have been thrown around quite a bit when it comes to certain players in our group. I, myself have been blatantly guilty of doing this. With Liviu’s good (and lucky) play ever since he joined us, it got me to thinking…., what the hell does luck mean anyway? And more importantly, how can we get it working for us?

I’ve been doing some research on the internet and found some rather interesting interpretations of what luck means. For one thing, it is not, as I had mistakenly thought, a chance happening. Professor Wiseman (University of Hertfordshire in the UK) has this to say:

“Is there a distinction between chance and luck?”

“Yes,” he said, “there’s a big distinction. Chance events are like winning the lottery. They’re events over which we have no control, other than buying a ticket.”

Luck, on the other hand, comes about by believing. In other words, luck is having faith.

Tennessee Williams wrote: “Luck is believing you are lucky” And many people think that there is power in a thought made concrete by a lucky charm – being a constant reminder of purpose and desire, such as my lug nut.

So, expect good fortune and you just might get it. Henry Ford summed it up another way:

“If you think you can, then you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right!”

Perhaps this is why, over the centuries, belief and faith have become entangled in so-called superstition – something to which many people feel inwardly obliged to adhere to. This is typically manifested by, for example, the tradition of touching wood (or ‘knocking on wood’) which dates back thousands of years. Even these days, there are few people who will openly tempt their superstitions. This is because it would go against their inwardly-held beliefs . . one sure way to attract BAD luck. In fact, so many people avoid the number 13 that it’s often absent from the floor of a hotel or the seat number on a plane.

The idea of luck, both good and bad, is firmly rooted in religion and spirituality. It all really comes down to faith. You either believe you are lucky, or you do not, and the outcome more often than not comes down according to what you believe you are. I may have been my own worst enemy in believing that Alex has been so lucky at our table. The more I attribute good luck to him, the more I am re-inforcing his good luck and my bad luck when it comes to the hands that we play against each other.

The best and simplest definition that I have found is attributed to Oprah Winfrey who says: Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity. And so, if guys like Alex and Liviu are prepared, and have a good knowledge of the game, when opportunity does come, they create their own luck. It seems to be the same with Mauro and Dave believing that they’re gonna get donked out on, and so, more often than not, their prediction comes true. Disagree with me? Tell me what you think.

I finally completed the stats summary for last year, and here it is: 2010 Official Year-end Stats

In regards to last night’s game at my mum’s, on one hand, it’s nice to see Alex losing big, for a change, while on the other hand, I know he’s hard up for cash and as a father, it bothers me to see him lose that much money, but hey, he deserves to lose now and then doesn’t he? Maybe he won’t be so cocky next time. Oh, you didn’t hear? He owed Dustin $40, and he told him that he was gonna pay him last night after the game because he was gonna kick our asses as usual. Here’s what I have to say to that…. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Just desserts oh son-of-mine, just desserts.

This Friday’s game will be at my groovy pad, and I think we’re gonna have a new semi-regular joining us, so see all you ladies there.

SpiC out

Sireel’s stats:POKER 2011

Twins for y’all this week (mmmmm, camel toe):





A True Force of Nature

14 03 2011

I can safely say that since day 1 of our poker games I have never seen anyone have a night quite like this. We had a new player by the name of Liviu joining us on friday and I must say that he made quite a splash on his first day with us. Let me start off by saying that he looks like a good, skilled player, however, I have never seen anyone get as lucky in one night as he did. It seemed like he was hitting his cards in 50% of every hand that he played, AND it would be enough to win. Judging by the number of rivers that he hit, the Poker Gods were truly smiling down upon him. Hell, even he was embarrassed by what was happening. Still, I’m surprised that he didn’t win more money, maybe because he only had 5 players to leech from. I’ve known him for some time and he seems like a very likeable guy, so I hope that he does become a regular, as he says that he wants to. Anyway, we need a chance to win some of that money back. Because of his performance on Friday night, he is now ‘The Impaler’ (you know….. because he’s Romanian……., you know, Vlad….. the real Dracula…..Vlad The Impaler…., killed thousands of his own people by mounting their heads on spikes……, Liviu is Romanian and he impaled us on friday……, get it?) So there you go.
So, what else is new, Dave got new glasses, so maybe he’ll finally start winning money instead of donating it to Alex. Maybe Mauro should get some specs too, mwahahahahahahahaha. Ummm, Ron is back in the fold, thank god the rumours weren’t true. Bob’s bathroom looks great…, ummmmm, Ken’s still a donkey….., and finally, I’m still awesome.

Jack, where the hell are ya? I haven’t heard from you in ages. I guess one more month and you’ll be back here getting a beating from us donkeys again.

On a more somber note, my heart goes out to the people of Japan who suffered in the earthquake and tsunami. I had a Japanese student that stayed with us for a year and nobody’s heard from her yet, so I hope and pray that it’s just a communications problem. I saw a youtube video of the wave wiping away an entire village, destroying everything in it’s path. I thought to myself, what if it was me standing in that field as this 10 meter monster came unrellentingly towards me? You can’t outrun it, and all you have time to do is a few precious seconds to make peace with your creator and pray that your death will come quickly once the monster engulfs you. Scary shit man.

On a happier note, Ken’s party was great and the food was awesome, but where the hell was the music and dancing? C’mon Lum, next time (if there is a next time), don’t be so cheap and cough up some money for some tunes. Just use the money that you’ve been winning off me for the past few months.

Don’t forget that Keith’s party is on Friday night and the game will be at his place on Sunday at 3pm. Well kids, that’s it for now, so I’ll see you guys on Friday.

SpiC out.

Sireel’s Stats: POKER 2011





The Year of Our Lord, 2055

21 02 2011

Aw man, this style of play just isn’t working out for me at all anymore. Here I am in February and I’m already down $90,767, with only Mauro-Clone #3 behind me at negative $127,233. This sucks, hell, even Karson Lum is beating the crap outta me, not to mention my 37 kids and 105 grandchildren. I tell ya, there’s no respect for your elders anymore. Back in the day when my dad, the Great Sir Eel (10x Trophy winner), started this venerable poker institution, we had respect for our elders. Sadly, as we all know, dad passed away 2 years ago from too much time spent with his sizeable collection of Sex-Bots (registered trademark). The old ticker finally gave out, but hell, at least he died with a smile on his face. But I digress. Where were we, oh yeah, respect.

Yes, we even had respect for that old geezer that used to play part-time with us, what was his name again…., oh yeah, Master Jack. Too bad old Jack didn’t live long enough to see the invention of our everyday diet staple, the age regression pill, or ARP as we so fondly call it. Or Health Cigarettes (‘All of the Taste, None of the Bad Shit’), yeah, old Jack would have loved these babies. Which reminds me, I should mention that at the top of our poker food chain still sits Buddy Jr. at +$59,033. Who would’ve thought that a dog-human hybrid could play poker so well. After Lobster Bob cloned his old dog Buddy and put him into that DNA Human Molecule Exchange Chamber back in ’45, Buddy Jr.’s been on a winning streak the likes of which have not been seen since my glory days of 2009-2016.

At the other end of the spectrum, it’s a shame that Mauro #3 still can’t buy a hand, even with a full head of white-man ‘fro on his head. Maybe it doesn’t help that the original blueprint Mauro still sits in his Speedster 5000 Motorized Chair behind his 3rd clone at every game giving him ‘tips’. Hell, the man couldn’t play when he was in his prime, never mind now. I mean, the old bastard’s still as tech-savvy as ever, and yet still stubbornly refuses to take advantage of any of our modern miracles, including the cell-phone implant. I know! Who the fuck can live without one of those babies in their wrist? So there he sits on that out-dated wheelchair with his wrinkled 96 year-old ass going on and on and on and on and on about the old days. And if his clone loses a particularly bad hand, he still wheels up to the table and throws Mauro #3’s cards and chips all over the table. I don’t know how all of his 26 clones put up with him.

Speaking of prima donna’s, my godfather, Jenny Lum, as he now calls himself, is like totally outta control. Even his son’s embarrassed to be around him. Ever since the Get In Touch With Your Feminine Side Movement of the ’30’s came about, he’s been prancing about in the most ghastly outfits and body enhancements you can imagine. He’s had so much surgery that he makes Michael Jackson look positively normal. It’s bad enough with the F-Cups, the pink hair and the size 30 feet, but now he shows up at one of our games a few weeks back showing off his new fish gills and ruby encrusted fingernails. The man’s (if you can still call him that) a freak. Oh well, what can I say, if it makes him happy…

I do miss the old days though, when it was still 8 or 9 of us. Now we have to rent a freakin’ hall every week, what with Keith’s and Ron’s grandkids and the Dave Reid holographic projections (yes, all 97 of them). I mean, it was bad enough with one Weedman, now we gotta put up with 97 pot-heads who are asking for full human civil rights and stinkin’ up the joint (pardon the pun) with their Republic of New B.C. Bud. And they’re all still losing money every year. This is of course not to mention the countless other part-timers that continue to join us, such as Dustin’s left ass cheek (the only sentient survivor of Dustin’s tragic bungee jumping accident of 8 years ago). The hands that were added to it was bad enough, but 2 years ago, Dustin’s Ass Cheek, or DujAC as we like to call him, got the idea to add full facial features to himself so that now he looks kinda like Mr. Potato Head. Scary shit.

Anyway, I’ve carried on long enough. I don’t know, I think it’s time to retire gracefully from this game. Nobody gives me respect anymore. Let me consult my Intel 30 Billion Quahzlobite Laptop computer for the next game. Ah, it will be at the Ancient House of the Original Dave. It’s nice to see that some of us still have a sense of history. Today I will be posting a retro car babe from the turn of the century. They still looked good, even back in 2000 eh guys? Don’t forget that next week, dad’s mummified remains will be on display for all to worship, so bring incense, etc.

Son-of-SpiC out

Son-of-Sireel’s Stats: POKER 2011