Alex’s Topics

22 06 2014

So I was trying to figure out what to write in this week’s blog and came up blanks, so I asked Alex for topics. He suggested the following:

a) When the fuck was the last time Ken won a legitimate hand? Oh he wins plenty of hands, but I just wanna see one hand that he actually fucking earned.

b) Why is Mauro putting so much attention on Renaldo’s hair products? Is it because he (sadly) doesn’t need any?

c) Bob “Cinderella” Germyn: Drug dealer to the WSOP Tour? You decide!

d) Half a year has gone by and Dave is still positive. Mind = Blown!! Maybe the lack of a certain mind altering substance has something to do with it.

e) Dad: Will we see an eruption from this once calm man if he doesn’t go back to being positive?  Only time will tell.

f) What the fuck is up with Keith leaving early when he’s losing? Can anybody say “gotta keep the stats up at all costs”?

g) Why does Murray ALWAYS have his poker face on? I mean, the guy looks like a freakin’ statue fer chrissakes!

h) Eric: Mountain Man wannabe or is he just prepping himself for a future career as a department store Santa? Stay tuned.

i) Paul is like, the calmest person with Italian blood that any of us have ever seen. Personally I doubt his claims to Italian-hood. Prove me wrong, pal!!

j) Somebody please help Jack. He needs our love and support now more than ever. He seems to be sinking ever deeper into a world of delusional madness. Please give generously.

k) Can somebody please buy Chris a poker book with the section on  ‘How to hang on to a large stack‘ highlighted so he can’t miss it. Um…, then again, never mind that request.

l) Oh, Ian is SO important now isn’t he? He’s much too busy for us unimportant people now. Or maybe…, he’s using his Union work as an excuse to skip out on regular poker ass beatings? Hmmm.

So there ya have it. Maybe next week I’ll concentrate on one of these topics. Agree or disagree with these observations?

World Cup update: Portugal still has a hope in hell, England is gone baby gone, and Italy is still hanging on by a thread as well. The game next week is again at the House of David (The Dave) Davidson.

Hey! How come I didn’t get any votes on last week’s poll? Maybe you’re all secretly gay? That must be it.

The Stats: POKER 2014

The babes: nude-girl-group

Eel Out!

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16 responses

22 06 2014
Mol

Pretty good Carlos and Bambino Carlos(Alex) In my Italian defense I must have the coolness and womanizing demeanor of an English 007 and the suave good looks and curly locks of a slick wop(Italian). Molinari out 🙂

22 06 2014
Mol

I forgot:

m) When is Alex going to realize that we are amateur goofy poker players and he is not playing on the WTP tour each Friday night.

Over and out 🙂

22 06 2014
Mol

I meant WPT, DUH

23 06 2014
sireelpoker

Good one, Paul.

22 06 2014
braveflaps

Nice one kids! Funny what you wrote about the beard, Alex – I was re-writing a Department store Santa movie that finished shooting last week. My excuse was that I was method writing but at the same time I also lost the charger to my beard trimmer….like two months ago. The family chipped in for Father’s Day and sent me a message…and a new trimmer. So I used it – and I rocked the table Friday night.

That’s why Friday night is now shaving night.

Let me know if You want any lucky whiskers. Some of them might even be from my face.

I also finished the script, so Stay tuned for some women’s network next November/December – the Christmas Gamble starring Natasha Henstridge. It even has cards in it.

In the meantime, I suggest you all watch Species – again – or for the first time if you haven’t seen it before. Take notes and one night we can all have a lengthy symbolic dialogue regarding earth gravity.

And boobs.

Also, I may not make it Friday, so my killstreak could be delayed.

Remember this for the next time I play:

23 06 2014
Robert the Bruce

j. Alex the donk better. How is that working for you this year? Stab when you actually have something. By the way who missed 3 or 4 weeks in a row?

23 06 2014
The King of Donkeys

Bob I will always stab, with or without a hand!

24 06 2014
Robert the Bruce

I believe you.

24 06 2014
The King of Donkeys

Annnnnnnd Italy is out!

24 06 2014
Robert the Bruce

not without a bite

24 06 2014
25 06 2014
GarCIA Reporting from GNN

Code Name “WORLD CUP Z”

Brazilian Intell reports that a pandemic is chewing at the football players and threatens to decimate the National Teams of the world.

Patient 0 is rumored to be a Uruguayan LOOOOOOOOOOSER
I mean National

FIFA has deemed the World Cup of 2014 Null and Void.

All team losses, wins and embarrassments excused.
Except for the Porto loss to the 11 Cardboard Cutouts
The embarrassment there outweighs the need of the few

GarCIA
Reporting what no lamestream media will report

FIFA also reports that the team of PROFESSIONAL OFFICALS has been infiltrated by some F%#$%%$#CKIN bottom of the barrel Mexican scummm who is now laundering some big Uruguayan payola.

Whos nickname is Dracula because he SUUUUUUUCKS huuuge penisesss like the ones of the giants mentioned in the ancient text

I apologize I am Spanish but have some dormant Italian anger that goes back to early man

26 06 2014
Robert the Bruce

Portugal and Italy done.Now I have to listen to that stupid USA chant.

26 06 2014
sireelpoker

Hey, at least Portugal lost on goal differential with 4 points. What did Spain, Italy and England get? Less than 4. So there. We’re the best team that sucked. Not to be confused with the best at sucking.

27 06 2014
GarCIA, "All is Right"

I too can now sleep like a little baby with Cristiano R’s hair gel applied to that one hair strand that I have knowing that the Porto Team will not be moving on to the round of 16 because 1,000,000 goals were scored against, minus the one goal scored by Cristiano “The Hair Gel Tycoon” Ronaldo, bringing the total down to 999,999.

And what a goal it was, after the opposing goaltender passed him the ball all he had to do is not miss the wide open net from 12 feet, a hallmark of an Elite Striker.

GarCIA
ZZZzzzz

26 06 2014
Robert the Bruce

At least they could have bit someone cause no one will remember them.

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