Happy Father’s Day to all you dads.

15 06 2014

Yes, the day that was invented by a necktie company is finally here and it was worth the wait just to see what kind of card my daughter made for me. She was so excited to give it to me that she woke me up at 8 am on a Sunday morning (ugh). Oh well, it was awesome and mad love abounds everywhere. I hope you guys all have a great day with your kids too. I’ll be seeing Alex at my mom’s later and you’re all welcome to drop by if you have nothing to do. Other than that, I’ll be watching soccer all day.

Nothing major on the blog today, as I’ve got lots to do. Hey, sitting on the couch and watching soccer is considered “lots to do”! The next game will be at Dave’s, so bring your pillows for his low chairs. Here’s something funny I sent to my dad. http://www.jibjab.com/view/Pwy6iwQ-R7ub4wCVaLVvmg

The stats: POKER 2014

Poll of the week: Which do you prefer? Full-on, side, or under? Nice_Cleavage sideboob underboob-23

And with that…, Eel out!

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12 responses

15 06 2014
braveflaps

Enjoy the day and thanks for the invite. And the boob pics. You must enjoy the research phase of this work very much.

15 06 2014
Robert the Bruce

Have a good day lads and we will talk to you….. I mean donk you later.

16 06 2014
GarCIA from FIFA HeadQuarters

That,,,, was embarrassing
Please leave the world stage by the maintenance hatch
and take the pink florescent soccer slippers with you

17 06 2014
GarCIA at the Quantum Physics Research Lab

A frame by frame analysis of the initial kickoff shows that Cristiano R’s hair
shifted slightly to the left at ball impact. Knowing that C R’s hair hasn’t moved
in millennium, a deeper analysis revealed a temporal displacement occurrence
on the planet. An even deeper analysis revealed the mechanics. It appears the
Germans put into play some exotic weapon research of the 2nd world war,
teleporting C R back in time were his current hair gel met his past hair gel,
causing some sort of Hair Gel time paradox. Anyone having applied the gel would suffer a reduction in brain function, equivalent to the embryonic stage, in the new time line. That meant the entire National Team as evident by the colossal collapse in the match with the Germans.

An attempt is currently underway to restore the time line before the next match,
using the Spock of Vulcan mathematical equation, to use the Sun’s magnetic pull or push, depending on what theory you subscribe too, to sling shot someone to speeds faster then light to the point in time where present gel
meets past gel and neutralize the situation
( Something like a Hair Gel Terminator )
We are hopeful for a successful incursion.
Unfortunately an unavoidable but acceptable variable will be introduced to history, what came first the Hair Gel or Cristiano R.

Of coarse none of this is being reported in the lamestream media

Truefully yours
GarCIA
TPR Division of the QPR Lab

A Chinese Thinker once said
He who controls Time controls Past, Present and Future.
History is not told by the victor but by the Hair Gel Terminator
(To truly understand this you must mold your face as if you were thinking really really hard, might be why the Chinese have that look)

17 06 2014
sireelpoker

Oh, there will be a reply. Trust me, there will be a reply. (think clever reply, think clever reply!).

18 06 2014
GarCIA reporting from GNN

There’s reports that the Portogeese National Team is looking for a LawMan for counsel, apparently FIFA has filed suit for breach of contract.
Section 2a states that a basic requirement to participate at the world level be that the team demonstrate the ability, at a minimum, to propel the ball in a forward direction.

This reporter personally believes FIFA is being a little silly, but as a great Italian once said, it is what it is.

A statement was issued by the team spokeperson, stating that the apparent inability was magnified by the German’s 99% ball possession, giving a false perception that the team could not propel the ball forward.

The team claimed the right of independent field testing to prove that it had the ability to move the ball forward. In an undisclosed location the National Team was pitted against 11 Cardboard Cutouts, resulting in a final score of

National Team – 0
Cardboard Cutouts – 4

((reporter in uncontrollable laughter))

((though difficult reporter has regained control))

My apologies, not very professional of me… but… we’re talking frackin cardboard cutouts

((reporter sensing relapse, must finish report))

Folks I know what your thinking, but there are leaked offical documents.
The leaker has asked for political asylum in the Azores, currently held in an Underwater Pyramid off the Coast of Terceira Island and the Mainland has threatened to sever relations if not released to Mainland authorities.

The penalty, if found guilty, miniaturized to serve sentence as fussball replacements

As always
Truefully yours
GarCIA
On The Spot Reporter
GNN

See more about the Underwater Pyramid at: http://www.ancient-origins.net/news-history-archaeology/reports-underwater-pyramid-coast-terceira-island-00864

18 06 2014
sireelpoker

This is all because Italy got eliminated from the qualifying stage in the 2010 World Cup, isn’t it? Oh, ya didn’t think I’d go there did ya!!?? Well I did, Mr. G!! Cardboard cutouts indeed! At least now the big story is Spain getting eliminated. Too bad there are no Spaniards in our group, he he.

20 06 2014
GarCIA The Spaniard

I think your electrical spark has shifted polarity there Magnificent
Eel. An honest mistake on your part I understand but the record should be set straight for others who browse these pages for truth.

The Italians won their group in the Qualifying Stage and so directly
qualified for 2010, but were eliminated because of high level corruption
and match fixing, from the Group Stage, which is what I know you
meant.

The same stage in which the Porto National Team will be packing
it’s bags and boarding Air Lisbon back to the homeland.

Because they weren’t able to exchange team jerseys, (for obvious
reasons) after the 4 – 0 pasting, with the cardboard cutouts, FIFA
will allowed them to take the entire cutout as a reminder of their participation.
A great gesture on FIFA’s part I think.

This reporter being of Spanish descent has no allegiance to the
Italian National Team so this is not all because of Italy’s elimination
but of Team Porto’s embarrassing execution of football basics.

The España early exit was in response to Brazilian tears.
Brazil wants to win this one at home and not suffer another
“Maracanaço” and the only two teams they fear that could deliver
that blow are Spain and Italy.The Spanish have decided to step aside
(with some monetary incentive) but the Italians could prove different.
Probably because if both Brazil and Italy win their groups or both be runner-ups they will be placed on opposite paths in the Round of 16 and meet in the finale.
Assuming of coarse that Brazil can do it’s part and makes it through.

As Always
Truefully yours
GarCIA
Setting The Record Straight

PS – Don’t get me wrong this reporter isn’t counting the Porto’s out.
There’s a slight but above average chance the team makes it through.
They need to either sit down and double fist some Grappa 220 proof before a match or each get a “Montauk Chair” session to infuse some Pelé like skills.

20 06 2014
sireelpoker

How can I compete with this?

19 06 2014
Robert the Bruce

I will be absent on friday because of date night.Maid Marion is making me take her out for some haggis and a movie.

23 06 2014
The master

Too sad to comment. Never thought with so much invested in Gel we could do so poorly. I think the days of status Quo are over. Africans and south americans woke up!!! Good luck to them, they have had bad for long enough.

10 07 2014
Anonymous

Under. Gives a place to play.

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