Blog resurrected? (Dealer’s Choice Games)

27 04 2014

Alright! I have found a kindred spirit in Eric, and whether he likes it or not, he shall henceforth be my new blog partner. No way to get out of this one, buddy. You’ve demonstrated a writing prowess that betrays your skill with wit and words. You’re in!

Onto the topic at hand: Donkey games.

My two cents worth: I enjoy dealer’s choice games, as long as they are poker-based and as long as they don’t involve wild cards. That’s how I feel, but as is natural, others have differing opinions. My feeling is that if we had laid out some ground rules early on, we wouldn’t be having the problems we are having now. It’s all our faults for being short-sighted. Dealer’s choice is after all dealer’s choice. If the dealer wants to play Monkey Ass-Wipe Congo Holdem with red Queens and black Kings wild, that’s his choice, but that’s where we needed to draw a line.  Some people say “fuck it, I’ll play anything” (Jack, Mauro, me, Bob, etc.), while others won’t play anything other than Texas Holdem (Kenny). The others fall somewhere in between.

Last week I violated my own rule when I dealt an Omaha hand (not having declared the week before that this was going to be a Dealer’s Choice game). In my own defense, I will declare that the only reason I did that was because I knew that Ken was coming and so I wanted to squeeze in a coupla donkey games before he arrived. But Paul was upset ( and quite rightly so), because he was forced to pay the big blind on a game that he hadn’t expected to play that night. This is why we need to set a set of rules that we will all follow, but first, we need a vote. Where do you stand?

A – Don’t care what we play, as long as we play.

B – Any Poker-based games with wild cards.

C – Any Poker-based games without wild cards

D – Only Holdem-based games (Pineapple, Omaha, Turn Two, etc) without wild cards.

E – Only Texas Holdem (aka, nothing kinky for these boys).

I vote C and/or D. Based on how the rest of you vote, we can come to a consensus that will make everyone happy (hopefully).

Oh, and one more thing…

eyecontact‘Nuff said. Eel out!

From Mauro:

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2 responses

27 04 2014
Anonymous

I vote for d double d

28 04 2014
sireelpoker

Eric’s suggestion to all this:

To the BOARD and DIRECTORS of PokerBoyz Inc.:

WHEREAS:

In the interest of the corporation and its human members, the self-appointed corporate secretary and general counsel wishes to propose that the BOARD agree to the following set of rules:

1. The name of the game played every week without any advance notice shall be (and always will be) Texas Hold’em, with an initial buy in of $20, and rebuys available when your stack falls below $5 (henceforth known as the “Standard Game”).

2. The intention to play any non-Standard Game of any kind must be announced a week in advance by email.

3. Notwithstanding Rule 2, if any dealer wishes to play any non-Standard Game without such advance notice by email, such inconsiderate dealer must announce the non-Standard Game he wishes to play by referring to such game by a different name – one that will bring either great shame and humiliation – or self-revelatory exposition – upon the dealer proposing such other non-Standard Game. (For example, a dealer wishing to play “Fiery Cross” without a one week advance notice must not say “I want to play Fiery Cross”. Rather, he must clearly make the following statement: “The battery jumper cables attached to my nipples and taint are incredibly uncomfortable, but I am deriving an insane amount of pleasure from same. I had no idea my latent desire for painful auto-erotic activity was so intense, but I am glad that I have discovered this burgeoning aspect of my personality – God forbid my family, pets and friends ever find out about this dark secret longing I have harbored for my entire adult life, but on the other hand it is in the open now, and this is my authentic self, the one I want to celebrate with the universe, both all known worlds and those yet to be discovered ” (this shall henceforth be referred to as the “Statement”).

3A. in order to resolve any dispute as to whether such dealer had clearly announced his intention to play “Fiery Cross”. digital video recording of the Statement shall be mandatory.

4.Upon announcement of the Statement, as recorded, and subsequently downloaded to the internet, it will be understood by all non-dealing players that such dealer wants to play “Fiery Cross”.

5. However, notwithstanding such Rules 3 and 4, should any dealer wishing to confess to matters of an ordinarily personal nature in the guise of wanting to play non-Standard Games without advance notice in writing as aforesaid, and such dealer says “NOT!” after clearly making the Statement, it will be understood that said dealer does not want to play “Fiery Cross” at all but, rather, is simply announcing to the table that he is and has always been a “clamper” and is still very seriously into “clamping” all over the universe, both all known worlds and those yet to be discovered.

6. In such circumstances, the table will remain silent and maintain a collective, non-judgemental look, except for the person to the left of such dealer, who shall say “JESUS CHRIST I FUCKING KNEW IT!”

7. The person to the right of such dealer shall then frown and say “Yeah – no shit…”.

8. The person opposite dealer will then look to the persons to the left and right of the dealer, and then to the other players before shrugging and quietly saying “what’s the big deal”?

9. After which the dealer will say – “exactly”…and then proceed to deal the cards in the manner understood to be dealt when playing the Standard Game.

10. The dealer is permitted to whistle while dealing but, until the first round of betting is commenced with either chips (or Canadian Tire coupons), an awkward silence by all non-dealing players must be maintained.

11. NAPA coupons will also be accepted.

May I have a motion to proceed?

Eric Wolfhard, Esq.

General Counsel and Corporate Secretary, PokerBoyz Inc.

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