F**K It, I’m Goin’ All-In

14 02 2011

An awesome post by none other than my son Alex. Here it is:

Is that a continuation bet? I think he’s got the nuts. You know what? **** it. I’m going all in.

Yeah, I could call it down or fold, cut my losses. But **** that. Folding is for pussies. I’m ****ing Alex Beef Fernandes. I can get that bluff to work. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to suck out or get him next time. I like going all in. It makes my dick hard.

What’s that? I should minraise? **** that. That’s gay. Check it down? Gay. Fold? Gay. Slowplay? Kevin Spacey gay. This is ****ing Texas Hold’em. You can’t just expect pots to come to you. You gotta grab your opponent by the throat and rape the ever-loving **** out of him. You think a minbet is gonna win you a pot? You’re a pussy. This ain’t Angry running this table. Beef’s got the moves. Creativity. Artistry. You gotta unleash the overbet.

Okay, I’m shoving. Nice. Look how those chips all went into the middle. I look good. I bet I made that cocktail waitress wet her panties with that throw. She ****ing wants me. I bet she’d like it over the table. I can hit that with 100% equity, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

Oh ****. Looks like he called. Again. Oh well. It still felt ****ing great to go all in. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest bluffs you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna shove the very next hand, I’m gonna put even more money in. Faster. You see SpiC sitting to my left? I’m gonna nail him right between the ****ing eyes with a good ‘ol Alex O Beef preflop shove. Why? Because I can.

This is Beef we’re talking about here. We’re talking 190 lbs. of steely intellect and sex appeal. I’m not just a poker player. I’m a poke-her player. Going all in tells all the Donkies that I am ****ing out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pot sized bet every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to throwing those chips in for all their worth. It tells them I ball like I ****. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.

Tell me you’re not turned on right now. I am.

**** it, I’m goin’ all in.

That’s all for now, as I’ve got no time. Game is at my house (the Cramped Quarters). More next week.

SpiC Out

Sireel’s Stats:  POKER 2011




8 responses

17 02 2011

Wow not a single comment!

17 02 2011

I’m busy, man!

17 02 2011

Update the champs page

17 02 2011

I will, as soon as I get a pic of you with the trophy.

18 02 2011

okay ill take one soon

18 02 2011

have to pick the daughter up at the airport so i will be late…………

18 02 2011

by the way nice car

20 02 2011

My apologies to Alex for having given Mauro the credit for this week’s blog. It was in fact Alex who wrote it. Nice job son-o-mine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: