Dustin Blows a Whopping $4.00

27 07 2010

We all knew that it would be a bad investment, but apparently Ronaldo the Space Donk didn’t. He gave Dustin $4.00 in chips and told him to try to win a few hands for him. Sad to say that 4 or 5 hands later the 4 bucks were gone and so was The Duj. Foolish Scotsman, next time you will know better. But, regardless of that, he did manage to pull off a big win of just under $100.00. This brings him down to ‘Not-so-bad’ territory in the money standings as the smallest loser. “Losers?” Ken asks. “I’m not a loser, you overstuffed, pasty-faced white mofo’s. As a matter of fact, the only losers out there are your mothers who had the unmitigated audacity to give birth to all-a-ya no-good in-bred hillbillies”, he gesticulates further. Kenny, Kenny, relax… don’t have a cow. We all know that you’re a loser in the nicest possible way, after all, you have been nice enough to finance Alex, mine and Keith’s games so far this year. If that’s not being nice, what is? “Alright, alright”, he goes on to say, “at least they don’t know that I’m secretly leading the life of a gay man, (oh shit, did I say that out loud?)”. Yes you did Ken, but you’re my buddy and I’ll always love ya, just not in THAT way, ok?

Aaaaaanyway….., 5 winners, 4 losers, and yours truly continues to finish in the positive, despite Ian’s curses on me. Yes, life is good! Memories of last year have all but been erased as I continue to dominate in all categories but the total cash, and that, my friends will soon come my way as well. Suck on that, ladies! AHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahaha ha ha  ha   ha    ha     ha      ha          huh          huh…… um….. ahem…… (cough cough),      uh, never mind.

So, as I read this blog back, it seems to be about absolute sweet fuck all. “Where’s the beef?”, you all ask. Uh, he’s at home, I think. “No no, the other beef, you know, the meat and potatoes. All we’ve had was some stoopid French Fromage Aperitif bullshit! Where’s our goddam blog meals!?” You want meat and potatoes?!!!!! Well here ya go!!!!! I hope you all choke on it!!!!!!!

And so ends this nonsense blog. The donk o’ the week was Master Jack with his friggin’ hunches that hit. The coming game will be held at PapaLum’s House of Dorkyness. Oh ya, where the hell are your pics that I requested, oh, I don’t know, weeks ago?! Anyway, see y’all this Friday and enjoy this week’s yummy car babe. She can pump my pistons any day, OH YA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By the way, Alex posted this link in the last blog and you might have missed it, so here it is again:

http://www.pokerlistings.com/tv/2010-november-nine-matt-jarvis

SpiC out

Sireel’s Stats: Poker2010

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Bombastic Blowup at Bob’s

19 07 2010

Unable to contain itself any longer, the Volcano finally erupted Friday night at Cinderella Bob’s establishment.  Yes, the cards and chips went a-flyin’ as Mount Norberto spewed its hot ashes all over our heads. Luckily it was towards the end of the night and as such did not cause too much destruction. There is a YouTube video out there called “Phil Helmuth needs to calm the fuck down”, and I find it a rather apt title for how we feel about the Italian One’s table manners. Nobody at the table asked me to say anything here in this blog, but I could see it in several faces. For the most part, we’ve all suffered from what seems to be his personal wrath as he feels that he’s the only one that gets donked out on. Well big guy, you’re not. And while we all complain about it, we do NOT verbally attack other players and we do NOT throw our chips and cards around. So my question to you is, why? You are either really quiet, or you’re muttering about the latest player who had the misfortune of winning a hand against you. None of us like to lose, but you don’t see this kind of behaviour from anyone else. I’ll give you two examples from last Friday’s game: Ron is in a hand with Alex. Ron bets big and and Alex comes over the top with a huge raise. Ron is frustrated as hell from past losses against Alex and folds in disgust. You can see the anger and frustration in his face, and although that’s how he feels at the time, he does not insult or abuse Alex. Five minutes later, he’s got a smile on his face again and continues playing cheerfully. Keith loses $90 and leaves the table like a gentleman, with grace, dignity and a smile on his face. But wait, Keith has been winning this year. So how about the other guys who are negative this year. Have you ever seen any negative behaviour towards any other player from Ken, Ron or Dave? No, nor will you.

Now, before you get all bent out of shape, let me say this about you; you are one of the most generous, multi-talented, intelligent, and sweetest guys I’ve ever known, and God knows I love you like a brother. Our friendship is written in stone, and that’s never gonna change. Because of all these things, I feel that I am the only one who can say this stuff to you and not have you get offended. The reason I’m using this public forum is because your poker table behaviour has been affecting ALL of us. So what the fuck gives? We play poker to have fun, and if you’re not having fun, why continue playing? Speaking for myself, I would absolutely HATE to see you go, but please don’t stick around because you feel you have to. I know the other guys admire you too, as you’ve probably helped each and every one of them before, by giving your time and expertise. So why don’t you just take a few weeks off from playing and come back when you feel that you’re missing us or the game? Anyway, I just wanted you to know how we’ve all been feeling, and I pray that you don’t take this in any other way than to know that we miss the old Mauro.

Alright, ’nuff said on that subject. If you have noticed (and how could you not), the two Fernandes’ are on top both in money earned and in points for the 1st time this year and I, for one, hope the trend continues. Go SpiC ‘n’ BeeF!!!!!! Ummmm, Ian? You are allowed to lose too you know? Just a friendly reminder. Zee game vill be helt at my mutter’s haus on zees Friday at zee usuval time. Alex gets this week’s dubious honour as Donk o’ the week. See you all at Alda’s house, and if you wanna come by earlier for the birthday BBQ, you’re all more than welcome to.

SpiC out.

Sireel’s Stats: Poker2010





Mini Blog

14 07 2010

Seeing as it is Wednesday already, this will be a very short blog. I guess the big news this week was that the bad-beat was paid off. My quad Aces against Dave’s full house gave Dave the bad-beat fund of $128, but more importantly for me, a big pot of $60+ and a quarter of the bad-beat money ($46).  I guess it was justified seeing as I had come the closest to winning it when Alex beat my 3 Aces with a Royal Flush a few weeks ago. Not much more to say except that it was a glorious afternoon at Ron’s house and to thank him once again for feeding us layabouts. The next game will be at Bob’s on Friday at the usual time. Later boys.

SpiC Out

Sireel’s stats:  Poker2010





Agony Turns to Ecstasy

4 07 2010

OK, I feel that you have all been somewhat redeemed. 15 comments is not bad, not great either mind you, but not bad. I think the record still stands at 45, so I hope we can get there again sometime in the future. So why did Carlos’ House of Excruciating Agony turn into ecstasy? The last 2 hands, my friends, netted me $60 plus and turned what had been a miserable night into a pleasant one, and put me back in the black by $23. Ah, sweet poker gods, how you play with us.

You know something? We have to start watching Ian a little more closely from now on. Me thinks that he’s getting a little too big for his britches with his… whole… you know…, winning money and all, thing. I mean, he is the new guy and all and I just think that he should be losing to us. I mean, how rude eh? Third place in average money with only 10 games under his belt. WTF Ian? Tow the line buddy, tow the line and start losing, like a proper new guy.

One thing that I was definitely happy about was that my closest rivals to my points lead all lost and so I was able to extend that lead by a little bit. The year is only half over and at this point anything could still happen, so any advantage is a good thing for me. Oh yeah baby. This second half of the year is shaping up to be a real doozy. Can Keith hang on to his money lead after overtaking Alex 2 weeks ago? Can Bob pull off a real Cinderella story and stay consistent long enough to pull off his own happy ending? Can I stay focused long enough to pull off 3 titles in 4 years? Can Mauro finally put his analytical mind to work and dazzle us with an improbable comeback? Has Dave seen the last of his bottom-feeding days as he continues to ride a wave of good fortune? And speaking of fortune cookies, will our token chinaman ever get out of the basement again? These and other questions will no doubt be answered as the year progresses.

Lum’s House of Pain will NOT be hosting our weekly money-exchanging party this coming Friday, instead, we will be braving the crime-ridden streets of Surrey again and taking refuge at Bob’s House of Lobster.  Speaking of Fanboys, I have my own fanboy pic which I am now posting. Rock on Gene!

What else…, oh yeah, Keith was Donk of the Week. Mr. Side of Beef, a stat note to you: where is Keith in the ‘Carlos’ House’ standings? Also, where is the stat for how we’ve been doing in money for the past 3 years? Alright ladies, that’s it for now, I’ll see you all on Friday!

SpiC out!

Sireel Stats: Poker2010

Car Babes of the Week: