Set up in their Monitoring Station on the dark side of the moon, the Poker Gods are monitoring several thousand poker games that are being played on a typical Friday night all over the Earth.
Zavdefrens: Hey Phago quick come here. Look, on this monitor.
Phago: Is that our boy Alex?
Zavdefrens: Yeah, and guess who he’s in the hand with…, his old man.
Phago: Are you gonna fuck with senior again? I thought we were giving him a break after what we did to him three years ago.
Zavdefrens: C’mon Phages, where’s your sense of fun and adventure? Of course we’re gonna fuck with him! On the other hand, I think we need to give Mauro a break now. How long have we been tormenting him now?
Phago: Hmmmmm, about 6 years. But try telling that to Queemr, I swear to Abduzon that he’s got a personal grudge against the poor bastard.
Zavdefrens: Sigh, will they ever learn. Now Alex, he knows a thing or two about how to appease us. They could certainly learn from him.
Queemr: What are you two rocket scientists talking about?
Grand Inquisitor Peenux: Hey Queems, I’ve warned you before about being a dick.
Queemr: I was just….., alright alright.
Phago: Ummm, we were just talking about how Alex Fernandes from Earth Sector 2777…
Queemr: We all know where Alex is from you idiot! He is after all, our boy!
G. I. Peenux: Queemr!!
Queemr: Sorry boss. Yeah, that boy’s got it right. If everyone else sacrificed 3 goats and 1 herring every Thursday night at our alter, which by the way, he had custom built of Argonian Zynthite all the way from Belethor Argonis 3, then we would have a more balanced outcome in our decisions.
Zavdefrens: Oh, you mean the one he had built at his place, or the older one on the edge of the Mt. Baker crater?
Queemr: You simpleton fuck, of course I’m talking about his home one. SORRY Grand Inquisitor.
G.I Peenux: Hmmmph!
Phago: Oh man, that thing’s impressive! How can we not love him! Especially when he lights the alter fire while dressed up like Elizabeth Taylor and doing the PeeWee Herman dance on top of the bald tattooed guy with the pierced nipples.
All: How can you not love that?
Zavdefrens: Yeah, those idiots Carlos, Mauro, Chris and Eric will never understand what it truly means to love us.
G.I. Peenux: …and so they will continue to suffer. Status quo gentlemen, status quo. Now, enough lollygagging, back to work ya bums.
Queemr: (whispers) I’m not voting for him anymore.
No offence Alex, I’m just having some fun with you.. Speaking of Alex, the game will be at his place on Friday.
Sireel’s Stats: POKER 2014
In honor of two of my favourite funny ladies, one just passed away and the other very much alive. I present to you…
Sarah Silverman, and drumroll please…
… Betty White
See you all on Friday