Happy Hetero Pride Week!

10 08 2014

Yes, I hereby declare this week to be Happy Hetero Week. Parade to be announced. Heck why shouldn’t we have a week dedicated to a celebration of our sexual orientation too? I know, I know, the LGBTG community will tell me that we aren’t persecuted like they were (or are), and I suppose they’d be correct in saying so. But, I think we should be able to publicly express our love of the pussy and all surrounding areas. This is coming from a male perspective of course, the girls can celebrate what they enjoy, you know, men doing housework, etc., etc.

By the way, here is Ken’s rebuttal to Chris’ blog last week:

“Chris, well done, slightly embellished.  Today is your lucky day.  I will spare you my poisonous pen.  FYI, it is a known fact acknowledged by North American Insurance companies that white males 18-34 are the worst drivers! Meanwhile, my boy wants to have a word with you! ”  Not So Angry Asian  THINKING OF U!

Nice to see the kid standing up for his old man. I, however am slightly disappointed. When Ken said he was gonna write a rebuttal, I thought “Awesome! We get to see some of Ken’s classic acid wit”. Sigh, I guess he really has mellowed out…, ‘not so angry’ indeed, I guess Karson’s the angry one now.

Here’s a breakdown of where we’ve played so far this year: Ken 6x, Bob & Murray 5x, Chris & Keith 4x, Me 3x, Dave 2x, and Paul & Alex 1x. So, the schedule should be as follows: Me this Friday, then Keith, then Chris, then me again, just to bring us all to 5x. We can then do the regular rotation with Ken bringing up the rear. I also need to know now if Paul and Alex want to be included in the rotation as well.

The stats: POKER 2014

Can you guys believe Dave is in 2nd place???!!! Dave!!! Dave Reid!!! Yeah, that Dave!!!! WTF??!!!

Ladies of the 80’s part 3: The angelic Phoebe Cates, then… phoebe-cates-topless-birthday-071610

and now at the age of 51, still very young-looking:

Phoebe-Cates

That’s all folks. Eel out.

 





Chris’ First Blog

5 08 2014

Take it away Chris:

After wrapping up a quick meeting downtown I met up with a guy from work for lunch in Yale town. We get lunch to go and grab a seat along the sea wall. Beautiful woman running, seniors walking, parents and children riding bikes along the sea wall. Truly a great place for lunch.

From a distance I hear two Asians taking the piss out of each other so I turn around and I see one guy looking the part of biker/athlete an the another gentleman not so much. In fact, my first thought was, wow, imagine being that old and just learning to ride a bike. Good for him. He had it all going on.. Ball cap, helmet 2 sizes too big, sun glasses, gloves, and covered head to toe in reflectors. He looked very…special.

As they came closer the bench beside us started the chant of “mandlebaum! mandlebaum!” The caretaker looked up and yelled out “it’s Chris!” Sure enough this was our good friends Murray and Ken. Murray, with the poise and balance of an ex rower hits the brakes, jumps off the bike and starts walking over. Meanwhile our special friend Ken, slams on the front brakes, goes over the handle bars like superman and manages to land on his left elbow, right knee and ribs with one shot. For such a small man, he managed to make quite the thud.

Credit to our special friend, he pops up and begins scrapping his pride, blood and skin off of the sidewalk. Before Murray and I could stop laughing a faint voice came from the distance “are you okay sir!? As the great grandpa shuffled along the path, he continued to comfort Ken with his kind words “I want you to stop and sit down for a moment. This has happened to me before. Us old guys need to take it easy you know!” Senior Kenny was able to use his best “I’m not really going for a flush poker face” and brushed the old man off and within seconds, was looking for the corner store to buy some magic spray for his wounds. Aka, a bathroom he could go cry in.

Moments later, he returns. Eyes a little red, pride and ego slightly damaged, and blood still pouring from the open wounds. He hopped on his bike and rode off into the sunset. Hopefully he stopped off at the bike store down the road to pick up some training wheels and made it home alright.

And I thought Asians on 4 wheels was scary…

Kapowww!

Stats: POKER 2014

Game at the House of Carlos (for sure this time). Limit of 10 players.

Ladies of the 80’s:  Madonna at the tender age of 21

4324_madonna-nude-1979-04-580x435

Madonna now:

madonna_sexy_desktop_hd_wallpaper

Til next week, Eel out.





BAM!!

28 07 2014

CONGRESSO LEGA

Damn, Mauro almost lost it again on Friday, but to his credit, and a little tension release from a few well-placed BAM’s, he kept his temper in check. He started winning after that, including a friggin’ full-house on the turn against my flopped flush. Me, I prefer to take a 10-15 minute break from the game to collect my thoughts, and that usually works. For eg. I’m down $110, I take a break and proceed to win back $90 by the end of the night. Eric suggested that had we played longer, I would have come all the way back and then some. But for Mauro, the BAM! works, good for him because we all need something to revitalize ourselves.

Now, let’s talk about apathy. What the fuck, guys? Get involved in this blog too. I’m doing this so we can all have a forum to discuss ideas and have some fun insulting each other. So get the fuck involved. Ken….., Keith….., Chris….., Murray. I’m talking to you guys specifically, and to everybody else in general. The only one who has an excuse is Dave because he has no computer and is a Tech Retard. You guys are gonna make me lose interest in this again. And if I don’t post anything worthy of discussion, well, you fucking write something then. Bunch-a-cunts.

So, how do you buncha c-words blow off steam after a few bad losses? Or if that’s too boring for y’all, tell me what you think about old guys going BAM! in the Italian Parliament?

Other news: Several of us believe that the culprit for last week’s $20 shortage was Chris. Why? Ken was the last one to get a sugar packet representing $20 and he gave his chips to Chris because he was the last one to re-buy. Coupled with the fact that Murray was out of the room, the money was not collected and recorded. If we can have an agreement that this is what happened especially from Chris himself, that would be BAM! worthy.

So here are the cunting stats, and you can all go fuck yourselves: POKER 2014

My new segment: Girls of the 80’s. First up, who can forget the delicious Samantha Fox.  Then……samanthafoxnudecelebs111515

And now…… East+London+Film+Festival+City+Rats+Arrivals+OsT1mbMz6AMl

Eel out!





Bad Beats

23 07 2014

Post Your Worst Bad Beat: If there’s one thing poker players want to talk about, it’s bad beats. Walk around town one day wearing a Pokerstars t-shirt, and someone will come up to you and ask if you play online poker. More than likely, the very next words out of their mouths will be telling you about how their aces got cracked the night before. Poker players remember specific bad beats a long time after they happen, and just love to tell anyone who will listen all about how they got their money in as a 95% favourite. So here’s your chance boys. Mine would have to have been when I hit Kings over Aces and lost to Alex’s Royal Flush a few years back at Jack’s place. I remember that it was prominently featured in that week’s blog, lol. Tell us about yours. Was it at our games or somewhere else?

Der Schtats: POKER 2014

2008_wsop_badbeat

… and in honour of my current computer game addiction (Skyrim):

46937-2-1384226463

Game is at Murray’s this coming Friday because things are a tad frosty between the wife and I, and I want her to cook some nice edibles for us when we do play at my place which will be the following week. Here’s hoping she’ll warm up by then. See you all at The Weasel’s.

Eel out.





Another Crazy Night of Poker

29 06 2014

Wow, what a crazy game this Friday. For one thing I’ve never heard Murray talk so much. There’s nothing as scary as having a drunk Murray snap bet $12 or $15. Is he legitimate, or is he doing it because he’s wasted? He sure scared me off a couple of pots and others as well. And for those who say that new players coming in to the table don’t change anything, I say bullshit. Consider that I had a $130 stack in front of me, and Ken was down $60 before they arrived. By the end of the night, I had given Ken $60 from my stack. Murray, who sat to my right was now getting my good cards and he never trailed for the rest of the night. Poker can be a cruel mistress, just ask our own Mr. GarCIA, who continues to be the most snakebit player at our table. At least he can still console himself with last year’s (points) trophy. Which reminds me, Mr. Lum, 6 months have gone by and it’s time to hand the trophy over to the Italian guy. Bring it for the next game please. And speaking of the points title, that trophy’s gonna be mine this year. I just have to remind Paul that this is indeed the case and he’d better ‘back off buddy’. Damn rookies. All I can say is this: Look, you proved your point. We all agree that you’re not as shitty as last year’s stats showed you to be. But now that you’ve shown us that you can indeed hold a very comfortable money lead, you have our permission to start sucking again, ok Paul? On the other side of the coin you have Eric and Mauro. Don’t despair boys, you have a long way to go before you even come close to Ken’s depths of depression the year he lost almost $900. And look what he did last year, winning the money title, truly inspirational and a big win for the little guy. There ya go boys, chin up. And no, I won’t fuck off. I keep getting these telepathic messages as I’m writing this to that effect. Bizarre.

So there you go, 26 weeks have been played and this is where we sit on the stats sheet. I still can’t believe that Dave is still positive, but the big question is…, can he sustain it? I do feel sorry for Bob though, always in 2nd place. Year after year he always has good results but there is always somebody who’s ahead of him. I think we should start calling him Pepsi or Avis. But I’m sure he’s ok with it as long as he’s not losing. Alex continues to have the same kind of year he had last year. He rarely does anything other than come in 1st place or lose. Very few 2nd’s, 3rd’s or 4th’s for him. Actually come to think of it, that perfectly fits the kind of year I’ve been having too.

So, good luck to everyone for the 2nd half of the year and here’s to all the super-donks that we will be witnessing in the months to come. May they all be distributed evenly. Next week’s game will be at Keith’s humble abode. See you all there. Go PORTUG……., I mean, Go BRAZIL!

SirEel’s Stats: POKER 2014

A coupla Brazil Soccer babes for ya. original

Eel out

 





Alex’s Topics

22 06 2014

So I was trying to figure out what to write in this week’s blog and came up blanks, so I asked Alex for topics. He suggested the following:

a) When the fuck was the last time Ken won a legitimate hand? Oh he wins plenty of hands, but I just wanna see one hand that he actually fucking earned.

b) Why is Mauro putting so much attention on Renaldo’s hair products? Is it because he (sadly) doesn’t need any?

c) Bob “Cinderella” Germyn: Drug dealer to the WSOP Tour? You decide!

d) Half a year has gone by and Dave is still positive. Mind = Blown!! Maybe the lack of a certain mind altering substance has something to do with it.

e) Dad: Will we see an eruption from this once calm man if he doesn’t go back to being positive?  Only time will tell.

f) What the fuck is up with Keith leaving early when he’s losing? Can anybody say “gotta keep the stats up at all costs”?

g) Why does Murray ALWAYS have his poker face on? I mean, the guy looks like a freakin’ statue fer chrissakes!

h) Eric: Mountain Man wannabe or is he just prepping himself for a future career as a department store Santa? Stay tuned.

i) Paul is like, the calmest person with Italian blood that any of us have ever seen. Personally I doubt his claims to Italian-hood. Prove me wrong, pal!!

j) Somebody please help Jack. He needs our love and support now more than ever. He seems to be sinking ever deeper into a world of delusional madness. Please give generously.

k) Can somebody please buy Chris a poker book with the section on  ‘How to hang on to a large stack‘ highlighted so he can’t miss it. Um…, then again, never mind that request.

l) Oh, Ian is SO important now isn’t he? He’s much too busy for us unimportant people now. Or maybe…, he’s using his Union work as an excuse to skip out on regular poker ass beatings? Hmmm.

So there ya have it. Maybe next week I’ll concentrate on one of these topics. Agree or disagree with these observations?

World Cup update: Portugal still has a hope in hell, England is gone baby gone, and Italy is still hanging on by a thread as well. The game next week is again at the House of David (The Dave) Davidson.

Hey! How come I didn’t get any votes on last week’s poll? Maybe you’re all secretly gay? That must be it.

The Stats: POKER 2014

The babes: nude-girl-group

Eel Out!





Happy Father’s Day to all you dads.

15 06 2014

Yes, the day that was invented by a necktie company is finally here and it was worth the wait just to see what kind of card my daughter made for me. She was so excited to give it to me that she woke me up at 8 am on a Sunday morning (ugh). Oh well, it was awesome and mad love abounds everywhere. I hope you guys all have a great day with your kids too. I’ll be seeing Alex at my mom’s later and you’re all welcome to drop by if you have nothing to do. Other than that, I’ll be watching soccer all day.

Nothing major on the blog today, as I’ve got lots to do. Hey, sitting on the couch and watching soccer is considered “lots to do”! The next game will be at Dave’s, so bring your pillows for his low chairs. Here’s something funny I sent to my dad. http://www.jibjab.com/view/Pwy6iwQ-R7ub4wCVaLVvmg

The stats: POKER 2014

Poll of the week: Which do you prefer? Full-on, side, or under? Nice_Cleavage sideboob underboob-23

And with that…, Eel out!








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